I've done a number of blog tours over the years, posting on different sites. Now I'm bringing them to you!
Originally published 2011 for Mean Kitty Blog
Living
at the Hughes household are two-year-old brothers Aahz and Caesar II (Mary=s son=s cats, so the
grandcats) and grande dame 20*-year-old Skittles. Aahz and Caesar II are
tabbies, blond and brunet, and Skittles=s fur is jet black with
orange highlights (all natural, dearie).
*Twenty
years is anywhere from 85 to 97 in a human, depending on which calculator you
use. She=s, um, age-enhanced.
1) So, your human writes books. Does this mean he
or she is home all day and easy to access? Elaborate if necessary.
Aahz: Well, during the
day she shuts herself in that room with my sleeping chair. Sometimes she=ll even come in when I=m sleeping and skootch
me back, sitting her butt on a full half of my chair! I mean, what part
of my chair doesn=t she get?
Caesar II: Hey, you=re lucky. Sometimes when
I=m on the chair she=ll take over the whole
seat. Though she makes up for it by putting me on her warm lap and petting me.
(Purrs.) Petting is good.
Skittles: She does come
out of the room to bring me my 12 and 5 pm feedings. But I=m going to have to talk
to her about the 10 am and 2 pm meals and the 3 pm treats.
Aahz: Hey. We only get
fed twice a day.
Skittles: Whaddya want?
I=m old.
2) How large a proportion of her income do you
have her devote to your gourmet tuna, cat beds, toys and other basic
necessities?
Aahz: Being a writer=s pretty solitary. So we
make sure she=s kept active by sending
her out for lots of special food, medicine, and treats.
Skittles: I=m old, so I need lots of
small meals. And I only eat baby food. Not because of my teeth, which work just
fine on crunchy treats. At a dollar a jar, it makes her keep working at her
writing.
Caesar II: I help out by
getting her to take me to the vet! That=s super-expensive. And a
sacrifice on my part because the vet pokes me with needles. (Turns to his
brother.) Although you could go. Why don=t you go?
Aahz: Because you=re the best-mannered of
all of us. You get all the human women to love you, and never shred any of them
with your claws.
Caesar II: Oh yeah.
Because then they pet me. (Grins.)
3) What are your techniques for distracting your
human during crucial writing moments, just because it's fun?
Caesar II: I like to sit
on her lap and spread. My favorite position is with my head and front paws on
her forearm so she has to type one-handed. And then I demand she pet me so she
doesn=t have any hands
free!
Aahz: I like to practice
my magic tricks. My favorite is where I tug the tablecloth off the table, you
know, the table in front of the window with the big cylinder on top, the one
sprouting green leafy stuff. I give myself ten points for pulling the
tablecloth all the way off. But sometimes when I pull the cloth off, the cylinder
comes too. It lands on the carpet and makes a big whump! and my human
comes running. I give myself an extra ten points for that.
4) What indignities and neglect have you suffered
because of your human's writing career?
Aahz: The chair-sharing
that she makes me do. Although she does scritch my neck to make up for it.
Skittles: She makes me
come upstairs to remind her of the two p.m. feeding. Hey, I=m old! And she won=t even buy me a Mustang
5L V8 to make up for it. Kitty=s gotta have her
playthings.
5) Tell me about the felines in your human's
fiction. How often do they appear and how big a part do they play?
Caesar II (hissing): She
hasn=t had any of us in her
books.
Skittles: Since she
writes erotic vampire romances, that isn=t a bad thing. I mean,
how would I explain that to my mother? I told her I was fixed!
6) On the off-chance your human has yet to
incorporate cats into a story, what are your plans for making sure she
rectifies this egregious error and demonstration of poor writing skills?
Caesar II: I=m trying to convince her
to write a shifter novel. One with a dark-haired, heroic, very handsome big cat
shifter named Caesar.
Aahz: Or Aahz.
Caesar II: That name=s been used already. In
Robert Asprin=s Myth books.
Aahz (bristling): Yeah?
Well Caesar=s already a Roman
general.
Caesar II (claws coming
out): A heroic, very handsome general I=m sure.
Skittles: Hey! You kids,
stop that fighting. And get off my lawn.
7) What works of fiction or cinema involving cats
does your human enjoy sharing with you?
Caesar II: I like the
Cat Sitter video. I=ll paw that screen for
hours to catch the birds.
Aahz: Ooh. When my human=s trying to wind down by
doing puzzles, I like sitting on the puzzle book.
Caesar II: It=s fun to chomp her
pencil when she=s trying to play
puzzles, too.
Skittles: Plebs. I share
artistic endeavors with my human and her mate. Specifically, we watch
television. I like House, M.D. even though it doesn=t have cats, because I
loved Hugh Laurie in Blackadder.
Aahz: Hugh Laurie was in
a show before House?
Skittles (ignoring the
children): I also like Simon=s Cat videos on YouTube.
And Meankitty.com. And Animaniac reruns with my role model Slappy
Squirrel. Cranky old lady squirrel squealing her fire-engine-red sports car
around town. Awesomeness personified.
8) If you could make one change to your human,
what would it be?
Caesar II: She=d give me more pets.
Aahz: Like she doesn=t pet you all the time.
Caesar II: Exactly my
point. She doesn=t pet me 24/7.
Aahz: Her hand would
fall off. Then who would change our litter?
Skittles: I=m old. Feed me.
User submitted:
Question for pets: Are you happy with your human?
If you could tell your human one thing, what would it be?
Caesar II: I=m warm, fed, and
well-petted, so I=m happy.
Aahz: Me too.
Skittles: Feed me.
What things does your human do that would mortify
it if known? What does your human do that most annoys?
Skittles: Mortifies?
Even though she pretends to be a model mom, she likes to drive fast. Annoys?
She won=t teach me how!
Questions for cats: Did your human name a
character for you? Are you pleased? If not, why?
Caesar II: Not yet!! But
I=m working on it. Mental
kitty wavelength big handsome heroic cat-shifterY
And did your human name you for a fictional
character? Hate it or love it?
Aahz: My human=s son named me for a
main character in Robert Asprin=s Myth series, the demon
from the dimension of Perv (a Pervert). My original name was Aladdin. I think
Aahz is a step up.
How do you give your
writer new ideas?
Aahz:
My claws make her think sharp. *snort*
Caesar
II: Ha-ha.
Skittles:
Feed me.
