What's in a name...? A Blurb Fit for Royalty -- Guest Remi Bond--originally posted June 16, 2016.
Please welcome guest Remi Bond, whose release Surprise for Three: Leap Year, along with S.L. Carpenter's Chasing Dreams: Leap Year, leaped into reader hands February 29!
The first thing a reader sees of an author's book is the cover or title. I think Surprise for Three is a good, engaging title, and with SL Carpenter's artwork, you know the cover is going to be superlative.
But the next thing a reader sees is the "tag" and "blurb", the hook line plus the three or four paragraphs that set up a promise as to what kind of ride the story will give.
I wrote what I thought was a good blurb, but for this first menage, was it good enough?
So I handed it over to The Blurb Queen, a professional. Oh, my, am I glad I did! Here's the before and after, paragraph by paragraph, for your reading pleasure.
TAG
Before: (none)
After: Will she dare to take a leap this bold?
THE GIRL NEXT DOOR
Before: Annaliese loves Ransom, but she's too shy for him, and knows it. So in farewell, she throws him a Leap Year birthday party—with a surprise. Sure, she doesn't get his heart a-pumping, but the beautiful exotic dancer popping out of the cake will.
After: … she's not daring enough for him Annaliese loves Ransom, but has given up on winning his heart. It hurts too much to watch him with other women, so she’s leaving town. In farewell, she throws him a Leap Year birthday party—with a surprise. She may not get his heart a-pumping, but the beautiful exotic dancer popping out of the cake will.
THE RICH PLAYBOY
Before: Ransom craves the adrenaline rush extreme sports and kinky sex give him. His heart belongs to Annaliese, but he’d make her miserable as her lover. He can only hope his hot blood cools before another man sweeps her away …and then the giant cake is wheeled in.
After: … he's too much of a risk-taker for her Ransom’s heart belongs to Annaliese, but he’s convinced he’d make her miserable, since he craves the adrenaline rush of extreme sports and kinky sex. He can only hope his passion for her matures before another man sweeps her away … and then the giant cake is wheeled in.
THE INJURED SEAL
Before: Jack's home from war for good and looking for a sweet woman to settle down with. When a relative maneuvers him into a pirate costume to swing his sword for some rich woman's birthday party, he spies sweet Annaliese and knows she's the one he wants. But she loves another…
After: THE WOUNDED WARRIOR … she's just what he's looking forJack is home from duty as a Navy SEAL and on the hunt for a sweet woman to settle down with. When a relative maneuvers him into a pirate costume to swing his sword for some rich chick's birthday party, he goes along as a favor. Then he spies sweet Annaliese watching his moves and knows she's the one.
(Wrapup)
Before: When the exotic dancer bursting from Ransom's birthday cake turns out to be a well-muscled pirate, it's a surprise for three.
After: A LEAP YEAR LOVE TRIANGLE … can they make it last? When Jack sees the way Annaliese looks at Ransom, he’s ready to back away … until Ransom invites him to a private after-party for three. Can Annaliese overcome her shyness to share passion with not one, but two hot men?
WARNING
Before: This story contains material intended for mature audiences. Reader discretion advised.
After: Warning: This story contains hot ménage and demonstrations of affection between two alpha heroes and one heroine.Don’t miss your chance to get in on this sexy celebration—get your copy of Surprise for Three today!
Here are the finished products:
Michelle has reached a crossroads in her life just as the year offers her an extra day – February 29th. Walking away from an empty relationship and striking out on a new path is reviving feelings—both scary and wonderful. A train trip home offers time to think about her future, and what the Leap Year might bring. It also offers her a good looking drunk, passed out in her sleeping compartment.
Josh is mortified that he crashed in the wrong compartment, but fascinated by the woman who let him sleep and even covered him with a blanket. Their meeting seems pre-destined, as does the passion sparking between them.
But they both have pasts, and sometimes the past can leave a long shadow across the future. Michelle and Josh will have to come to terms with where they’ve been before they can really set off on the ultimate adventure…chasing their dreams.
Amazon | Amazon UK
Will she dare to take a leap this bold?
THE GIRL NEXT DOOR … she's not daring enough for him Annaliese loves Ransom but has given up on winning his heart. It hurts too much to watch him with other women, so she’s leaving town. In farewell, she throws him a Leap Year birthday party—with a surprise. She may not get his heart a-pumping, but the beautiful exotic dancer popping out of the cake will.
THE RICH PLAYBOY … he's too much of a risk-taker for her Ransom’s heart belongs to Annaliese, but he’s convinced he’d make her miserable, since he craves the adrenaline rush of extreme sports and kinky sex. He can only hope his passion for her matures before another man sweeps her away … and then the giant cake is wheeled in.
THE WOUNDED WARRIOR … she's just what he's looking for Jack is home from duty as a Navy SEAL and on the hunt for a sweet woman to settle down with. When a relative maneuvers him into a pirate costume to swing his sword for some rich chick's birthday party, he goes along as a favor. Then he spies sweet Annaliese watching his moves and knows she's the one.
A LEAP YEAR LOVE TRIANGLE … can they make it last? When Jack sees the way Annaliese looks at Ransom, he’s ready to back away … until Ransom invites him to a private after-party for three. Can Annaliese overcome her shyness to share passion with not one, but two hot men?
Warning: This story contains hot ménage and demonstrations of affection between two alpha heroes and one heroine.
Don’t miss your chance to get in on this sexy celebration—get your copy of Surprise for Three today!
Amazon | Amazon UK
What about you? Does a polished blurb make a difference?
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