3T Writing Tidbit - End on a Bang?

 I have a two-inch stack of notecards filled with bits and bytes I've learned over the years. Today in reviewing them I came across one that reads

Prologue needs to end on a bang.

So, part of that is because prologues are out of fashion. Readers want to be immersed in the story as close as possible to the moment the story engine starts. If you're going to flout that, you'd better have the hook to end all hooks at the conclusion to make sure they read on (basically they're starting over again with Chapter One, why are you doing that to your poor reader)?

Really, we're taught to end every section with a bang, aren't we? Sequel structure is: Character has a Goal and makes a Plan to get the Goal. Okay, here we go! Scene is: Character executes Plan. Plan goes off the rails, and Character does not get the Goal. Sometimes Character not only doesn't get the Goal, Something Worse Happens.

Chapters traditionally end with Something Worse, which is often Oh No What Will Happen Now!! or what my husband calls the wha-wha whaaaa moment (think of a melodrama music just before the ads break).

Example: I crept up to the sleeping man who held all the answers to my missing parents. Gently I shook his shoulder to wake him. He rolled onto his back, mouth agape.

He was dead.

Wha-wha whaaaa!

Example: Chloe walked into the bar, angrily searching out her cheating boyfriend. When she got hold of the him and whatever skank he was two-timing her with... she saw him in the back corner. Some cheap blonde was all over him. Chloe stalked toward the couple, readying her scathing words. Her boyfriend saw her, his eyes widening. The blonde must've sensed his stiffening because she turned. Chloe stopped in recognition.

It was her sister.

Wha-wha whaaaa!

As much as we as writers should strive to hook the reader and offer surprises and turns of fortune to keep them reading...

Don't go full melodrama. Don't end your scene, chapter, or even prologue with a wha-wha whaaaa.

Published since 2009, over the years I've accumulated various items of writing wisdom. The Third Tuesday Writing Tidbit showcases these items in no particular order. Click here to see all 3T Tidbits. 

2T Repeat Performance - Edie and the CEO

 

I've done a number of blog tours over the years, posting on different sites. Now I'm bringing them to you!

Originally published February 13, 2013 for My Odd Little World

Thank you, Nancy, for having me back!

This seems to be a new road for you. why the different direction?

 Actually, the first novel I wrote, titled Novel 1 (which is now Hot Chips and SandI’ve come a long way :) ) was a contemporary romantic comedy. In some ways I’m just coming back to my roots. I’ve also been wanting to write something I can send to my husband’s family for Christmas. I just couldn’t picture my mother-in-law reading some of my Biting Love sex scenes. Lol.

Will this be a series, or just a one off?

I have another unconnected contemporary romantic comedy started about a media superstar, his supermodel ex-girlfriend and her twin sister, a woman who’s had a crush on the man for years and who tries to fit into his world with not much success, tentatively titled A Billionaire for the Wrong Sister. I’m really having fun, putting the heroine into fancy dress and having her stumble on her unfamiliar high heels into the hero’s lap.

Where did the idea for this come from; can you share?

Sure! One of the lines from my five-line pitch is “Edie’s passionate about workers’ rights, which gets her in trouble with sexy CEO Everett Kirk.” The story is my own experience as a child of the 60s finding a job in the 80sthe humorous clash of hippies meeting the material world. When I was living through it, it was difficult, personally facing the struggle of my grassroots ideals versus feeding my family and getting ahead in my career. Just as Edie does in the story, I had to go through a lot of conflict to find the right balance. But looking back I can see just how funny some of it was, and I used that in to spur the bickering banter between Edie and Everett.

 What is your definition of Romance-what does that bring to your mind?

 Eek. I was lousy at definitions in school. Lol. I know that, for a lot of people, romance is that first flush of giddy attraction. I’m a head-hand-heart sort of woman, and I approach life by trying to balance my reason, physical needs, and emotion. So for me, romance should be with someone I can talk with, be physically attracted to, and trust with my heart.

 Unfortunately my heart grabbed me and slammed me to the mat and said “This guy.” Fortunately, the rest followed, although it took a lot of work. ☺

 When I write paranormal romance it’s from an ideal perspectivethe hero and heroine are soul mates whose careers and minds mesh perfectly, kept apart by outside forces or their pasts. With contemporary I have more leeway.  I can have them be attracted but not instantly soul mates, so it’s more a story of their coming together.

What is one secret you can reveal that no one knows about you?

Ooh. Dark secret or light secret? Dark secret (at least I don’t talk about it much on the Web), my mom died when I was 16 and it’s colored my entire life. Light secret, I dye my hair. Not because I have gray, but because it’s a guy’s gray and I have f**ing wings. How embarrassing is that?

 

Hugs!
Mary

 

3T Writing Tidbit - How Predictable (aka boring) Is Your Story?

 I've been struggling with the last book in the Pull of the Moon series. At first, it was because I didn't like the hero. Fixed that, but then I didn't find the heroine compelling. But everything I thought of to make her interesting seemed even flatter.

What to do? How do I know what's boring and what isn't?

Well, how predictable is it? 

Here's where the newest type of AI may come in handy. GPT (as in ChatGPT) stands for Generative Pre-training Transformer.  Basically, the way it works is the AI has learned, after combing through a sheer sheiss-ton of data, what most likely comes next.

Example: Ask ChatGPT 'What comes next after "Five foot two, eyes of".'

Reply:

It depends on where you're going with it! If you're referencing the classic 1925 song "Five Foot Two, Eyes of Blue," the next words are:

"blue, but oh what those five foot could do!"

Or were you setting up something different? Maybe a fun twist for a character description? 😏

So how can that help me de-dull my heroine? Come with me on an experiment. Let's see what ChatGPT thinks.

Here's the basic starting point.

Witch princess and seer Ari Blue uses her talents to assist surly, annoyingly sexy police detective Name Tobedetermined, when suddenly a magic-world-changing prophecy puts her in the driver's seat -- a seat which gets very hot when she finds Evil Badguy Wizard has escaped from prison and is after the same thing she is -- the key to magic iteself.  

I asked ChatGPT to give me the most obvious internal and external goals.

Here's ChatGPT's reply:

Ari’s goals can be broken down like this:

External Goal (What she thinks she wants):

Ari wants to find the key to magic before Evil Badguy Wizard does, protecting it (and the world) from his clutches. She’s also navigating her reluctant partnership with the detective, using her talents to solve magical crimes while resisting (or maybe not resisting) their mutual attraction.

Internal Goal (What she actually needs):

Ari needs to step into her power—both as a seer and a princess—owning her leadership role instead of avoiding it. She must overcome self-doubt, accept responsibility for shaping the future, and realize that destiny isn’t just something that happens to her; it’s something she can take control of.

If you want to add layers, you could give her a personal stake—like a fear of becoming like her ancestors, a past prophecy gone wrong, or a deep-seated belief that she’s not fit to lead. That would make her growth even juicier! 😏

Then I asked ChatGPT to take the same premise but give me the least obvious internal and external goals. Here's the reply:

Ooh, I love this challenge! Here’s a deeper, less obvious take on Ari’s goals:

Least Obvious External Goal (What she doesn't realize she’s pursuing):

Ari isn't just after the key to magic—she's trying to break the entire system that created it. Maybe magic itself has been controlled or manipulated by an elite few (possibly even her own ancestors), and she begins to question who should have the power to wield it. At first, she thinks she’s just preventing Evil Badguy Wizard from getting it, but her real journey is about deciding what to do with it once she has it.

Least Obvious Internal Goal (The subconscious drive she doesn't recognize at first):

Ari is searching for true autonomy. As a princess and a seer, her whole life has been dictated by bloodlines and fate—who she is, what she should do, and even what she sees coming. Deep down, she craves the ability to make choices that aren’t predestined. Her real struggle isn’t just stopping the villain; it’s figuring out whether she wants to follow the prophecy or burn it all down and rewrite her own future.

This approach adds some delicious tension: Does she really want the key to magic, or does she want to destroy it? And if she does… does that make her a hero or something else entirely? 😏

So I have to admit I was thinking in terms of the first one. Now I can see that, yes, it's obvious (and therefore boring). Plus I can see there are soo many better directions!

 

IMHO using generative AI responses out of the box is akin to plagiarism (exception: like quoting an authority, when you're quoting it, as above). 

 

But to use it as a script partner, to spark new ideas?

 

Well, what do you think?

2T Repeat Performance - The Beach and the Pounding Waves (Paranormal vs. Contemporary Romance)

I've done a number of blog tours over the years, posting on different sites. Now I'm bringing them to you!

Originally published February 6, 2013 for Guilty Pleasures

The Beach and the Pounding Waves (Paranormal vs. Contemporary Romance)

Pounding waves. Standing on a beach, feeling the warm wet sand between my toes. Walking slowly into the lake or ocean, cool water lapping at my ankles…and then being hit by that first surge of water which lifts me off my feet. That’s what writing contemporary romance versus paranormal romance means to me.

The very first story I wrote, Hot Chips and Sand, was a contemporary romantic comedy. The very second I wrote, Mystic Fire, was a dark paranormal about a man who sees the future and thought his gift killed his mother, and the heroine who redeems him.

So you see, I was split from the beginning. ☺

For me, it’s not contemporary versus paranormal any more than it’s left brain versus right brain or water versus land. I need both. One is the land that grounds me. The other is the water that lifts me from my feet.

That’s not to say each doesn’t have its own peculiarities, difficulties, and joys. Contemporary is faster and easier for me because I don’t have to do the world building or worry about what I need to explain (and how to present it in an entertaining but believable manner). Paranormal is more fun because of the world building. I can pick physical vampires or magical witches and shifters or corporate werewolves and muck about in their DNA if I want to (whee!). Contemporary romance is more day-to-day. It has a hero I can relate to and a heroine I could possibly be, with difficult yet real problems like babies, career and making a home. Paranormal deals with ideals. The hero and heroine are not just sweethearts but each other’s One True Love or True Mates. Their problem is generally Saving The World.

But whether contemporary or paranormal, the emotional component has to be there, and it has to ring true. The conflicts, whether real or ideal, have to be real to the heroine and hero.

And most of all, the story has to sweep the reader away for a little while.

Hugs!

Mary

 

3T Writing Tidbit - Writer's block -- isn't always a bad thing.

Here's a controversial take. Writer's block -- isn't always a bad thing.

I have a couple series to finish. Life did a hard right turn on me in 2018 and I've got a full-time job, so those series are going to be a while.

But I've been thinking about the final book in the Pull of the Moon series, Soul Mates. Back pre-2020 I had the main characters scoped out and a plot outline and had actually written three chapters -- and rewritten those chapters -- and restructured the plot -- and rewritten those chapters yet again, thinking it was writer's block, before I came to a realization.

I didn't like the male hero.

Half-heartedly I pushed at it, but between studying for my application developer degree and reeeally not liking the hero, I didn't get anywhere.

A new job was followed by a couple promotions. Life is still chaotic but I found myself thinking about Soul Mates in my spare time. And realized a second thing.

The female hero is...well, not boring exactly, but blah.

There are a ton of books out there with characters who aren't bad, per se, but who are average. That's not bad (per se) -- it's just that you only have three things to work with: character, setting, and plot. Writing a novel is already hard. Bland-ize any one of these three elements and you'll have to work ten times as hard.

Give your characters pizzazz and suddenly the whole process sparkles.

My female hero was a seer who went blind after a vision and played piano (yawn). Nixie is a 5-foot punk rock musician with a vocabulary straight out of Urban Dictionary (sparks interest). My male hero was a half-wizard, half-spirit creature who'd been imprisoned his whole life with his mother (um...) Julian is a 6-foot lawyer with a fangy secret (and also the exact opposite of Nixie, more sparks flying!).

I still haven't figured out what will light the fire in my Soul Mates couple, but once I do I know their romance will sizzle the words will pour out.

Moral of the story -- listen to your muse when she scuttles your work. Pushing through is sometimes effective, but sometimes there's more wrong than just writer's block.

Published since 2009, over the years I've accumulated various items of writing wisdom. The Third Tuesday Writing Tidbit showcases these items in no particular order. Click here to see all 3T Tidbits. 

2T Repeat Performance - questions about Edie

I've done a number of blog tours over the years, posting on different sites. Now I'm bringing them to you!

Originally published February 5, 2013 for the Read Your Writes

1) Edie and the CEO is your first step into the Contemporary romance genre.  Did you find it easier or harder to write?

Easier by far. There’s no world building to do so there are fewer explanations dragging the story down.

2)  I read an excerpt on your website for the book.  It actually left me with my mouth open... Oh my gosh.. What was your inspiration for the book?

Thanks for the kind words :D The short answer? The story is my own experience as a child of the 60s finding a job in the 80sthe humorous clash of hippies meeting the material world. Edie’s passionate about workers’ rights, which gets her in trouble with sexy CEO Everett Kirk.

The longer and more serious answer is that I was the youngest in my family, so was aware of the 60s (and early 70s) through my older sibs. It was a time of protest and change, of dreams and conflict and most of all environmental awareness and grassroots uprisings. But by the time I went for my computer degree in the 80s, that had about-faced to the world typified in Madonna’s “Material Girl”. I personally faced the struggle of my grassroots ideals versus feeding my family and getting ahead in my career. Just as Edie does in the story, I had to go through a lot of conflict to find the right balance.

3)  What three things should we know about Edie and Everett?

-Edie is brash and crusading and cares deeply about her people.

-Everett is more complex, having weathered corporate infighting. But he wasn’t always a suit and has a number of secrets, including his discreetly siding with Edie in the employee-management corporate tug of war.

-Edie and Everett’s bickering is the squabbling friction before the physical flames ignite. ☺

4)  What do you want readers to take away from the book, besides sore cheeks, because they laughed so hard?

You’re too kind! The best thing about writing is touching another person’s life. I feel that if my stories take readers away from their troubles for a little while, I’ve done my job. ☺

3T Writing Tidbit - How to Get Started

 Openings. Grr. They're my nemesis. How do you get started when your reader needs to know all your wonderful characters and all the things leading up to the brilliant events that happen in your plot and all the quirks of your fictional world and... and... and...

What?!?! Readers want a story, not an information dump. Forget all that stuff you need to give them to "get started". Most of my favorite books start with:

1 character

doing something interesting

-or-

1 character

presenting a question the reader will want answered

-or-

no character at all!

Here are some first lines that demonstrate the above, some taken from Libby Life.

“This is my favorite book in all the world, though I have never read it.” -William Goldman, The Princess Bride

“It was a bright cold day in April and the clocks were striking thirteen.” -George Orwell, 1984 

“My name was Salmon, like the fish; first name, Susie. I was fourteen when I was murdered on December 6, 1973.” -Alice Sebold, The Lovely Bones

“When I first set eyes on Evelyn Barton-Forbes she was walking the streets of Rome --
(I am informed, by the self-appointed Critic who reads over my shoulder as I write, that I have already committed an error. If those seemingly simple English words do indeed imply that which I am told they imply to the vulgar, I must in justice to Evelyn find other phrasing.)” -Elizabeth Peters, Crocodile on the Sandbank

“I write this sitting in the kitchen sink.” -Dodie Smith, I Capture the Castle

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.” -Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

"Green sky at night; hacker's delight." -Charles Stross, The Atrocity Archives

Published since 2009, over the years I've accumulated various items of writing wisdom. The Third Tuesday Writing Tidbit showcases these items in no particular order. Click here to see all 3T Tidbits. 

2T Repeat Performance - Feelings Exposed!

I've done a number of blog tours over the years, posting on different sites. Now I'm bringing them to you!

Originally published February 4, 2013 for Crimson Romance blog

Feelings Exposed!

Think back to high school. How many boys did you like? Did you have a lot of crushes or one big love? Here’s the kicker—how many of those boys knew you liked them? (My answer at the end. ☺)

Romance is scary. It takes two to tango and you’re never quite sure about the other person until you put your own feelings on the line. That’s why romance novels are so deeply compelling. Storytelling is all about conflict, and whether or not to reveal your heart is one of the most personal struggles there is.

But exactly because it’s scary, romance is also fun. It’s exciting for the couple, breathless with possibilities. But it’s even better for the best friend or reader. Watching two people dance around their attraction can be high comedy. They hide behind nonchalance, then dash out to signal their interest before retreating again—usually just when the other person starts flailing their romantic semaphore.

My favorite is the bickering that disguises an explosive attraction, squabbling friction just before the physical flames ignite. Here’s an example from my romantic comedy debut with Crimson Romance, Edie and the CEO.

Edie wants to make her 60s protester grandparents proud. But championing the little guy gets her in trouble with sexy CEO Everett Kirk. Someone's trying to force Everett out of his job, and Edie's latest escapade hasn't helped. A snowstorm and an empty cabin makes them confront their attraction.

Everett has arrived to pick up Edie for a conference. She isn’t awake yet and he thinks she’s in trouble and breaks down her door. She steps on a broken board and hurts her foot.

“If you risk infection by putting that foot down,” Kirk called from the living room, “I will personally lash your ankle to your thigh. Let me warn you, I tie some pretty wicked knots.”

“I just bet you do,” she muttered. Did the man install an AuthorityCam to see around the corner? Stupid president, autocratic and demanding even off the job.

Grumbling, she hopped to the bathroom, found disinfectant and cotton balls, flopped onto her toilet seat, and pulled up her foot.

It was a dirty, bloody mess.

Phooey. If she hated his high-handedness, she hated worse when he was right. He was already arrogant enough.

She doused the cotton ball with disinfectant and swabbed her wounded foot, but it was like cleaning a muddy car with a makeup sponge. She just smeared the blood and dirt. So she started the water in the tub to rinse her foot instead. Then she decided she might as well shower. It was only efficient. Amazingly rational, considering she hadn’t had any caffeine yet.

But in case Prince Omniscience decided to be his usual argumentative self, she locked the door.

She stripped quickly, got right in, and started shampooing. She’d worked up a good lather when the pounding started at the bathroom door.

Half-blinded, she stuck her head out. The door bowed with each thud, Kill Door Part II. In hindsight, locking it might not have been the smartest move. “What are you doing?”

“We need to get going.” Kirk’s deep voice carried easily through the composite. Another thud told her he was serious. “What are you doing?”

She started to yell, “I’m taking a shower,” but it would only get lost in the next bang. She grabbed a towel, twisted it around her, unlocked and opened the door.

Mid-swing, Kirk’s large and capable hand froze. He blinked. His gaze dropped. Widened.

Turned molten silver.

 

So how many of your high school loves or crushes knew? Me, I had one big love and a lot of other little crushes and none of them knew ☺ It took until college for me to brave telling, and that’s how I got my husband. But that’s another story…

Hugs!

Mary

 

I live in the Midwest with my beta-reader alpha husband, two grandcats who demand equal lap time, a basement full of spare computer parts and several musical instruments including a romantic cello and a flute for orchestral twittering birds. Find me on the web at http://www.maryhughesbooks.com, Facebook http://www.facebook.com/MaryHughesAuthor and Twitter @MaryHughesBooks