|photo credit: Edgar Barany via photopin cc|
Anyway, we've iterated through this conversation several times over the years and keep adding refinements. Here's what we've learned. I'm not saying these are pearls of wisdom but they are my best approximation at this time :)
- Couples must have that first blush of attraction. The heart beating faster, the desire to be with the other person. For hubby and me, before dating, it was getting off work near the same time and sometimes...more often than not...finding each other on the freeway going home.
- Couples must have and enjoy bodily, skin-to-skin contact. This isn't just sex. This is hugs, massage, everything. I go for a couple weeks during the summer where my body swells and I can't stand touching anything. We still manage to hug or touch elbows. If you have any other suggestions, I'm open to hearing them. Frankly, without skin-to-skin I get squirrelly.
- Couples must go to bed together. This one's harder. My husband snores. I only deep-sleep the hour after he gets up in the morning. So I stay awake an hour after he's down. But we're in bed at the same time. Does that count? Also, I know couples who don't share a bed but they're fine. What about you?
- Couples must not go to bed on an argument. This one's harder yet. Sometimes we haven't even realized there's a problem until weeks later. Sometimes we just fight because we're pissed at things or folks outside the marriage but the spouse is safe. --Which has its own problems so we don't do that much anymore.
- Couples must enjoy being with each other. This is going to be controversial but I don't think couples need to share interests. My husband and I do share interests, to an almost alarming degree, lol, but I think you can work as a couple if you like to read and he likes to tie fishing lures but you both like to do it better in the same room.
- Couples must get past the first blush of attraction. In order to keep a partnership going, you have to commit, not just to the partner, but to the relationship itself. So there's something worth fighting for even if you're angry at your partner. Which brings me to...
- Couples must be partners. Respected equals. If you disdain your spouse that's a problem.
For long-lasting companionship (plus weird faces and messy sheets), you need to mesh at several levels, not just first blush.
- WisRWA Read-A-Romance here
- Main page for Read-a-Romance here
- Check out my RAR partner PJ Fiala!
- PJ's post celebrating romance is here, and I'll feature her August 12.
- Check out my RAR partner Helen C. Johannes!
- Helen's post celebrating romance is here, and I'll feature her August 26.
Nixie's lost her mojo!
A Nixie and Julian Story.
Nixie Emerson, punk rock musician and first-time mom-to-be, has a stalker. Her band Guns and Polkas has gone national after their big stage debut, but the price of fame is the stalker trying to scare her into leaving the band.
Her husband, master vampire Julian, whisks Nixie away to the Wisconsin north woods--where they meet the stalker on the pier of their cabin and he again threatens Nixie.
Julian punches him out and the couple walks away thinking the problem is over. But when the next evening the stalker is found dead, they find out the trouble is only starting.
Warning: contains a cranky pregnant lady trying to control her swearing, a master vampire appeasing his wife with food and creative sex, murder, mayhem and several arguments over what to name the baby.